This past summer, the Lord gave me the opportunity to go back to the BLC for the third incredible time.  After the first time I was there, I was hooked and jumped at any opportunity that would allow me to get back and see my boys!  I marvel at how great God is each time I am there because He manages to teach me something entirely new every time I go to Bolivia.  I unfortunately find that at times I put God into a box and don't allow Him to awe me with His power.  Praise God that He always breaks down the barriers I put up and He never fails to speak to me in such a real way.

During my month in Bolivia this summer, the Lord opened my eyes to so many things.  One of the greatest things that He showed me was that He loves me simply because I am His child.  I don't have to earn His love and no matter how many times I mess up, He still wants to hold me in His arms and gently whisper His love to me.  He showed me this through a couple of experiences that I had with some of the boys. 

During chilly nights at the BLC, they have this wonderful tradition of having a huge bonfire outside.  As we were all hanging out, Jesus, one of the younger boys, had to use the restroom. So, I took his little hand in mine and walked him inside.  When he closed the bathroom door, I heard him turn the lock.  The thought that he would not be able to unlock the door crossed my mind and I hoped that this wouldn't be the case, but unfortunately it was.  Once Jesus realized that he couldn't open the door, he panicked and started screaming and crying at the top of his lungs.  I was trying to calm him down from outside of the door but between the language barrier and his screams, there was no way he was going to calm down.  I went and got one of the workers and he climbed in through an outside window and was able to open the door and put a tear-streaked face Jesus into my arms.  I sat down on the floor with him in my lap and just let him cry till he forgot that he was ever upset about anything.  After about 10 minutes, he was his joyful self and we walked back out to the bonfire without a care in the world. 

Crazy as it sounds, that experience affected my life more than anything else this summer.  When I heard Jesus crying inside of the bathroom, I wanted to calm him down more than anything.  I wanted to let him know that everything was going to be ok and that I was there to comfort him.  Since he was so terrified, he wasn’t able to hear me or anyone else tell him how to unlock the door.  So many times in my life I get so frustrated and lost that I’m not able to hear the Lord tell me how to unlock the door and crawl into His arms. 

When I sat on the ground with a crying with Jesus in my arms, there was no other place in the world that I would rather have been.  To know that this terrified little boy could finally feel safe in my arms was the best feeling.  And I didn’t want to hold him or comfort him because of something he would do for me later or for any selfish reason.  I simply wanted to hold him because he was my little Jesus and he was all that mattered at that moment.  And the Lord really showed me then that He feels that exact same way about me!  He loves me even more than I love that little boy and there is no other place He would rather be than sitting with me in His lap.  No matter how many times I mess up, He will always be there to wipe away my tears and draw me back.  There is absolutely nothing that could separate me from the fact that He loves me simply because I am His!   

It seems like such a simple concept, but praise God that He made His love so real to me this summer.  And praise Him that He used the BLC and little Jesus to show me something I have been ignoring for so long.  We serve a great God and it was an amazing experience to serve Him alongside the staff and boys of the Bolivian Life Center.